


i’ve already got one dumb nickname, i don’t need another one

by yaboiiiigrass



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Eminem - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, basically just a high school au shitpost, i just watched 8 mile so that’s the whole reasoning behind this, spot makes good nicknames, this is just dumb ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 15:08:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18390878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboiiiigrass/pseuds/yaboiiiigrass
Summary: how davey got the nickname “walking mouth”





	i’ve already got one dumb nickname, i don’t need another one

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys just a little thingy
> 
>  
> 
> i don’t own any of these lyrics, it’s all rap god by eminem 
> 
>  
> 
> however i did choose to take out some slurs that i didn’t feel comfortable posting and i’m so so sorry if i missed one so please tell me if i do
> 
>  
> 
> so there we go, enjoy!!

~

Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings

But I'm only going to get this one chance

~

 

the self-proclaimed ‘newsies’ sat on the stage in a circle, working on their respective homework or playing cards. mainly everyone was playing cards, race winning at bs by a long shot. tensions were high as the pile got bigger and bigger. “hey... did someone hear that?”

 

 

“shut the hell up jack, it’s your turn” spot snapped.

 

 

“ugh fine, 1 queen” he didn’t even know what card they were on, throwing down the first card he thought of, it wasn’t even a queen.

 

 

“bullshit, take the pile!!” romeo called over his gigantic collection of cards. “i have all the queens, and we’re not even on queens!! boom, roasted”

 

~

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?

They said I rap like a robot, so call me rap-bot

~

 

“shut the heckity heck up romeo, but seriously did you hear that???” jack whined as he swept up the pile into his hand.

 

 

“actually i heard it too... is someone playing rap god but not eminem?” race said, matching jacks puzzled expression.

 

 

“i think someone’s preforming it”

 

 

“yeah”

 

~

But for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes

I got a laptop in my back pocket

My pen'll go off when I half-cock it

Got a fat knot from that rap profit

Made a living and a killing off it

Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office

With Monica Lewinsky feeling on his nutsack

I'm an MC still as honest

But as rude and as indecent as all hell

Syllables, skill-a-holic

~

 

the whole group began spouting theories on who and what and where the rapping was coming from, ideas getting more and more ridiculous. “oh my god what if it’s one of the delanceys?!”

 

 

“shut up jojo, their english is worse than races” albert elbowed race in the ribs, earning him a hard slap on the thigh.

 

 

“rude!!”

 

~

This flippity, dippity-hippity hip-hop

You don't really wanna get into a pissing match

With this rappity brat

Packing a MAC in the back of the Ac

Backpack rap, crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack

And at the exact same time

I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicing that

I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table

Over the back of a couple of fuckers and crack it in half

~

 

“okay plan time!!” jack stood up, waving his hands for everyone else to get up too. “we’re going to find this slim shady-“

 

 

“smooth”

 

 

“thank you! so let’s spit up and search the building, check everywhere and anywhere! unless the room doesn’t have a phone or a place to plug in a mic that would go on the coms”

 

~

Only realized it was ironic

I was signed to Aftermath after the fact

How could I not blow? All I do is drop "F" bombs

Feel my wrath of attack

Rappers are having a rough time period

Here's a maxi pad

It's actually disastrously bad

For the wack while I'm masterfully constructing this masterpiece yeah

~

 

everyone split up into small groups(specs, romeo, buttons, albert, elmer. race, jack, katherine, sara, spot. jojo, tommy boy, finch, crutchie), running through the halls in search of the mystery rapper.

 

~

'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?

Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard

~

 

“guys hurry, they’re onto the second chorus!!” sara yelled, dragging spot and kath by the arms and busting open a classroom dramatically. “not here!”

 

 

sara was basically losing her shit, kath and spot remained moderately calm but immensely confused, and jack and race were having too much fun blabbering along. their shady was flying through the lyrics with ease while race and jack could only get in a few words per verse, the rest sounding like complete gibberish.

 

~

Everybody want the key and the secret to rap

Immortality like I have got

Well, to be truthful the blueprint's

Simply rage and youthful exuberance

Everybody loves to root for a nuisance

Hit the Earth like an asteroid

Did nothing but shoot for the moon since

pew

~

 

“where the hell are we going??” spot yelled after getting left behind by the others. everyone was far to eager to find the slim shady. they left only race and spot behind, promising to text them if they found anything.

 

 

“as if we know?? now move your fuckin legs or i’ll be forced to carry you around” race taunted, taking off and bursting through the science corridor. “GOTCHA BITCH, WE HAVE FOUND THE RAP G-“

 

 

he opened the first door he found with reckless abandon, only to be greeted by a room full of kids with books about dragons and lime green braces.

 

 

d&d club.

 

~

MCs get taken to school with this music

'Cause I use it as a vehicle to 'bust a rhyme'

Now I lead a new school full of students

Me? I'm a product of Rakim

Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N.W.A., Cube, hey, Doc, Ren

Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim

~

 

they all stared blankly at the very shocked race, red in the face and frozen in place. “uh- i... well uh- hmmm!”

 

 

“sorry guys, we’ll be going now” spot stepped in apologetically, grabbing race around the knees and hoisting him over his shoulder.

 

 

“MMMM SPOTTIE- AAAACK SPOT PLEASE NO!!” race shrieked and kicked, hitting at his back and legs in an attempt to get down. of course he failed, getting a hearty chuckle out of spot. race could feel it vibrate against his chest, making race squirm more.

 

 

“okay so here’s the deal, i cant trust you to be opening any of these doors due to that stupid ass stunt you pulled. however, i will give you the option to have a piggy back instead of this?” race grumbled angrily, his squirming stoping briefly.

 

 

“....fineeeee” spot quickly bent over, touching races feet to the ground. he walked around hopping on spot’s back and wrapping his arms and legs around spot.

 

 

“great, now where to next?”

 

 

“as if i know? lemme call romeo” race patted his pockets, only to remember he left his phone in his jacket. “mind if i use yours?”

 

 

“uhh sure? where’s yours?”

 

 

“in my jacket, albert has it” he stood up a bit on spot’s back while he walked, reaching down to pull the phone out of his pocket. he quickly typed in romeos number and let it ring.

 

~

Inspired enough to one day grow up

Blow up and be in a position

To meet Run-D.M.C. and induct them

Into the motherfuckin' Rock n'

Roll Hall of Fame even though I walk in the church

And burst in a ball of flames

Only Hall of Fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame

On the wall of shame

You fucks think it's all a game

'Til I walk a flock of flames

Off a plank and

Tell me what in the fuck are you thinking?

~

 

“hey babe, how’s your luck?”

 

 

“absolutely horrible love, i’ll tell you bout it later. how’s you guys?”

 

 

“still nothin, tho we did find hotshot” there was a distant grumble in which race assumed to be a greeting.

 

 

“hiya hotshot!”

 

~

Little gay-looking boy

So gay I can barely say it with a 'straight' face, looking boy

You're witnessing a mass-occur like you're watching a church gathering take place, looking boy

Oy vey, that boy's gay

That's all they say, looking boy

~

 

spot perked up at his friends name, “lemme say hey” race held the phone to spot’s ear. “give it to hotshot, romeo. hey dude, whatcha doin here? cool... wait no! who told you that? he’s not my- okay no we are not doing this, bye”.

 

 

“the hell?”

 

 

“nothing”

 

 

“hey, shouldn’t this verse be offensive?” race asked dazedly.

 

~

You get a thumbs up, pat on the back

And a "way to go" from your label every day, looking boy

Hey, looking boy, what d'you say, looking boy?

I get a "hell yeah" from Dre, looking boy

I'mma work for everything I have

Never asked nobody for shit

Get outta my face, looking boy

Basically boy you're never gonna be capable

Of keeping up with the same pace, looking boy, 'cause

~

 

spot shrugged and kept walking, “i mean i guess it’s a bit mean but it’s a good song and eminem isn’t really homophobic so i think it’s fine”

 

 

“fair point”

 

 

spot’s phone started vibrating, a call incoming. race plucked it from his pocket once again, answering the call. “yellow? whAT?!? OKAY UH- BE THERE SOON!! SPOT THEYRE IN THE ARTS WING, THEY FOUND HIM!”

 

 

“then let’s go!!” spot started to run, hooking his arms under races knees to keep him from falling.

 

~

I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God

All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod

The way I'm racing around the track, call me NASCAR, NASCAR

Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God

Kneel before General Zod this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard

~

 

corners were very hard to get around, the pair almost tumbling over thrice. “cAAAREFUL TALL ASS!! YOURE GONNA TIP US OVER!!”

 

 

“PISS OFF AND RUN OKAY!!” they were halfway down the math wing, which leads to the english wing, and then the arts wing.

 

~

So you'll be Thor and I'll be Odin

You're rodent, I'm omnipotent

Let off then I'm reloading

Immediately with these bombs I'm totin'

And I should not be woken

I'm the walking dead

But I'm just a talking head, a zombie floating

But I got your mom deep-throating

~

 

after a few more minutes of running, they almost bulldozed through crutchie and company. “shIT! hey gang”

 

 

“nice ride racer!”

 

 

“shut the hell up finch” spot joked, “you’re in the same position as me”

 

 

it was true, finch had crutchie on his back, who was clearly beaming.

 

~

I'm out my Ramen Noodle

We have nothing in common, poodle

I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself

In the arm and pay homage, pupil

It's me

My honesty's brutal

But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize

What I do though for good

At least once in a while so I wanna make sure

Somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle

~

 

“quit the happy couple routine, we got a rap got to catch!” jojo cried, sprinting off ahead of the others. tommy boy groaned, running after him, the rest following suit.

 

 

“this person better be someone impressive because i will hate myself afterwards if they aren’t” race whined.

 

~

Enough rhymes to

Maybe try to help get some people through tough times

But I gotta keep a few punchlines

Just in case 'cause even you unsigned

Rappers are hungry looking at me like it's lunchtime

I know there was a time where once I

Was king of the underground

But I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind

~

 

“honestly, i agree. if it’s someone lame like... i don’t fuckin know, someone lame i’ll punch jack for sending us on this wild goose chase” speaking of jack, he was standing at the end of the hall waving like a maniac.

 

 

“HURRY GUYS ITS ALMOST THE BEST PART!!”

 

~

So I crunch rhymes

But sometimes when you combine

Appeal with the skin color of mine

You get too big and here they come trying to

Censor you like that one line I said

On "I'm Back" from The Mathers LP

One when I tried to say I'll take seven kids from Columbine

Put 'em all in a line

Add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine

~

 

“oh shit he’s right! the supersonic speed bit is coming up fast”

 

 

“well as you can see, i’m going as fast as i can! ya know, this would be good practice for football, remind me to carry your bitch ass around when the season starts again”

 

 

“um, rude!”

 

 

“whatever princess”

 

~

See if I get away with it now

That I ain't as big as I was, but I'm

Morphin' into an immortal coming through the portal

You're stuck in a time warp from two thousand four though

And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for

You're pointless as Rapunzel

With fucking cornrows

You write normal? Fuck being normal

And I just bought a new ray gun from the future

~

 

“CMON IDIOTS, HES IN HERE!!” jack gestured to the broadcasting room, ushering them in with a shush, great contrast to his screaming seconds ago.

 

 

the entire group was huddled outside the door, some pressed against it in hopes to see through the blocked up windows, but nothing. race was practically shaking with excitement, grin getting bigger and bigger.

 

~

Just to come and shoot ya

Like when Fabolous made Ray J mad

'Cause Fab said he looked like a fuck

At Mayweather's pad singin' to a man

While he played piano

Man, oh man, that was a 24/7 special

On the cable channel

So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day

"Hey, Fab, I'mma kill you"

Lyrics coming at you with supersonic speed

~

 

spot put his hand on top of races in hopes of calming him down a bit, but soon races grin had infected him with one of his own.

 

 

to be completely honest, he was excited too. they’d done a whole lot of running to get to this moment, so there had better be a great payoff.

 

~

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human

What I gotta do to get it through to you? I'm superhuman

Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is

Ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you

I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating

How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating

Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting

For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating

~

 

“fuuuuck” albert whispered, everyone else nodding or humming in agreement. this guy was amazing, whizzing through the complex words as if they were nothing. it wasn’t a common skill to be able to get this far through the song, let alone do it this well.

 

 

this guy was fuckin good.

 

~

'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

I make elevating music

You make elevator music

"Oh, he's too mainstream."

Well, that's what they do

When they get jealous, they confuse it

"It's not hip-hop, it's pop."

'Cause I found a hella way to fuse it

With rock, shock rap with Doc

Throw on "Lose Yourself" and make 'em lose it

~

 

a few people were getting fidgety, romeo reaching for the handle at least 3 times by now, only to get slapped by kath or specs.

 

 

“spottie, i don’t think i can hold out any longer” race whined like a toddler, tapping at his shoulder anxiously.

 

~

"I don't know how to make songs like that

I don't know what words to use."

Let me know when it occurs to you

While I'm ripping any one of these verses that versus you

It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you

How many verses I gotta murder to

Prove that if you were half as nice

Your songs you could sacrifice virgins to

~

 

“cool it race, the songs almost over, okay?”

 

 

“hnngghh... can’t we just bust through there?”

 

 

“no way, then he’d prolly stop”

 

~

Unghh, school flunky, pill junky

But look at the accolades these skills brung me

Full of myself, but still hungry

I bully myself 'cause I make me do what I put my mind to

When I'm a million leagues above you

Ill when I speak in tongues

But it's still tongue-in-cheek, fuck you

I'm drunk. So, Satan, take the fucking wheel

I'm asleep in the front seat

Bumping Heavy D and the Boyz

Still "Chunky, but Funky"

But in my head there's something

I can feel tugging and struggling

Angels fight with devils and

Here's what they want from me

~

 

“how do you know it’s a guy?” kath and sara barked, “jinx!! double jinx!! triple ji-“

 

 

“just stop... please” jack said, face still smushed against the door. “some of us are tryna listen”

 

~

They're asking me to eliminate some of the women hate

But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred I had

Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic to the situation

And understand the discrimination

But fuck it

Life's handing you lemons

Make lemonade then

But if I can't batter the women

How the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?

Don't mistake him for Satan

It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas

And take a vacation to trip a broad

And make her fall on her face and

Don't be a retard, be a king?

Think not

Why be a king

~

 

“that’s it!! i cant take it!” race cried, scrambling off of spot’s back and stepping through everyone to open the door.

 

 

“race no!!” jack grabbed him by the collar, pulling him back, “it’s almost done!”

 

 

“i. don’t. care. i’ve waited too fucking long for this and i-“

 

 

“race, no! we can’t just barge in and scare the hell outta-“

 

 ~

“when you can be a God?”

 ~

 

“davey?”

 

 

“WHAT??!?” the entire group stood up, shoving through the door to see a very panicked davey.

 

 

“a- uh.. what happened? why are you all here? kath! you said that nobody’d find me in here!!”

 

 

everyone turned sharply to a very guilty kath, “listen... i can explain! i might’ve unhooked the phone that goes over the pa? on accident!! but then we heard you and... just wow!!”

 

 

“yeah dave, what the fuck! i’m your sister, you’re supposed to share your epic rap skills with me!!”

 

 

davey looked down sheepishly before turning to jack. “jackie?”

 

 

“i- i just- i can’t... uh- where?”

 

 

“where what jackie? looks like the walking mouth left ol’ cowboy speechless, finally” spot joked, pushing jack over a bit.

 

 

“hey... walking mouth has a nice ring to it” race remarked, davey shaking his head.

 

 

“i’ve already got one dumb nickname, i don’t need another okay??”

 

 

“too late mouth, welcome to the club!” crutchie laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “however, we will be having a conversation about this hidden talent of yours at ihop!”

 

 

everyone let out a loud cheer, some turning to shove davey around lovingly.

 

 

and to think, who woulda called that the quiet southern kid would be the rap king of lower manhattan high?

**Author's Note:**

> eyyyy this was pretty fun to write, hope you all enjoyed it 
> 
>  
> 
> so yes, this is in the same timeline as my other fics 
> 
>  
> 
> and no, none of the ships i tagged above are canon in my universe yet 
> 
>  
> 
> however if you want to read it that way, please please please do!!
> 
>  
> 
> love you all so much and have an awesome week!
> 
>  
> 
> grass <3


End file.
